Being in your 20s can be considered the most challenging years of your life BUT it could also be the BEST. 🙂

 

When you’re in your 20’s, you start realizing a lot of things, you need to be mature because you’re grown up. You’re seen as an “adult”, not a kid any more. There are so many changes that happen in your 20s, you might start wondering if you will ever have it all figured out (or not).

 

I remember when I reached 20, my mom told me to stop acting like a child, that I’m already an adult and that I should act like one. Honestly, her words didn’t sink in to me that I’m actually entering the “adult stage” of my life.

 

I’ve been through a lot, made wrong choices, got fat, felt insecure, felt lost, screwed up, got my heart broken, went through a life crisis, done things that I may have and (have not) regretted afterwards. Maybe I wasn’t that ready to enter adulthood, maybe deep down, I’m still a kid. I wasn’t really sure if I was capable of making right choices and decisions.

 

But, as I mature, I should be making the right decisions. At this age, I need to start being independent.. After all, I’m still in my early 20s. 🙂 (Long way to goo!)

 

In reality, GROWING UP IS NOT EASY (yeah, it sucks) but you should be ready face it. The faster you learn the most difficult life lessons, the sooner you lead a great and successful life.

 

Here are 20 realizations recounting what I’ve learned as I enter 20s:
 
1. Getting LESS SOCIABLE is Not a BIG Deal. 
 

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Hey! Not everyone around you is your friend, ALWAYS keep that in mind. There are people who are just nice to you because they need something. But when they don’t, or when you’re not there, you are just NOTHING. People will always talk behind your back (Girl, wake up! This is REALITY talking). They will ALWAYS gossip about you. You will learn how to deal with them and to choose your friends wisely. You can’t please everyone and It’s honestly tiring if you keep on pleasing everyone. Quit trying to be a people pleaser. Don’t waste your time and energy worrying about what other people think, because it’s going to make you a very unhappy person.

 

2. Parents Over Everything.

 

You will learn to appreciate your parents more. We all know that they won’t be around forever, no matter how much we want to. Instead of always partying and going out with your friends, take a raincheck, Spend time with your family.

 

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They are not young forever. Some of the things you do with them together before, may  not be the same now. As much as you want them to protect you, maybe it’s about time that you do this for them. Your parents may screwed some things up during your childhood and chances are, you will start noticing all of these while you’re growing up. But learn to FORGIVE them, if they have done something bad for you in the past (you are not a perfect son/daughter either, but they still LOVE you for who you are, you may have hurt them for several times, but they are still HERE for you). You are lucky if you are still with them. Appreciating the little things they do for you.

 

3. People Come and Go in your Life, and that SHOULDN’T Bother You.

 

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Not everyone in your life are meant to stay. That’s REALITY. FACE IT. You’ll outgrow certain people in your life, and believe me, that’s just part of life. Perhaps the person you’re hanging onto is no longer the person you once knew and loved. Cut your losses, and move on. Some people may leave you behind, you can’t stop that from happening. When someone tells you it’s over, IT IS OVER. Stop trying and believe them, respect yourself, and let them go.

 

4. You will be Open to More Failure and Make Bad Decisions. 
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In our 20s, we are going to face failures, gonna screw up, not just once, twice, but a lot of times, we get caught up in making the “right decision.” We already feel like we’ve made enough mistakes and don’t want to disappoint anyone again. Remember, One bad decision won’t ruin your life, it is a lesson learned for us.

 

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When you feel like giving up, DON’T. Keep going, and keep failing. One of the best feeling in life is when we succeed in one thing after we failed for several times.

5. Stay fit – Health is Wealth

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Be healthy, not necessarily you have to be slim and sexy but at least be HEALTHY. My mom used to tell me to eat healthy foods and stay healthy. As a kid (or until now), we used to (or still) eat junk foods, drink soft drinks and other unhealthy foods but when we grow old, that’s the time complications arise. You’ll learn that as your body changes in your late 20s. The increasing number of injuries, slowing-down metabolism, and appreciation for early nights will make you realize that you’re not indestructible.

6. REAL FRIENDS are Treasure. 

You will lose some of your friends. Not everyone you were friends with in grade school and high school will matter to you. You will realize that you no longer have anything in common with many of your friends from high school, and that’s okay. In fact, you will have smaller circle of friends now, but they’re BETTER for you. This is common as you go through life. Its better to be QUALITY OVER QUANTITY (always). 

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Having two to three best friends that you can ALWAYS count on is better than having 15 friends that you can’t even talk to when you needed them. Remember to always keep in touch with your REAL friends. Once in a while, talk to them, ask how they are doing, thats one of the secret on how to keep your friendship ongoing and to last even years from now. Who knows, maybe you already found the girls who will turn into your bridesmaids.

7. First Job? Dream Job? Career Path? – WORK, Work, Work.

In high school and college, you always dreamed about having your first job, your DREAM job, but when you finally enter the real world, things will eventually change. You have to set your long term goal as early as possible for you to achieve it.

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By this time, you have to decide which career path you want to pursue for a long term. Where you thought you would end up is different from where you will really end up. Your first job will just be an eye-opening experience that will really show you what you want to do for the rest of your life.

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Quit your job if you are not happy. Trust me, the world is big. There are tons of opportunities waiting for you. You will find another job that suits you, that will make you feel happy. No one ever looked back and said “I wish I stayed in this job I hated”.

8. THINK OF YOUR FUTURE – Save Up!

(well, my number 8 is somewhat connected to the previous one)

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It is okay to treat yourself once in a while, its okay to spend money, but you should also think of saving up! Every time you get your salary, doesn’t mean you have to spend it all. You must think of your future. Start saving up for your it.. This is GOOD for you, I promise! 😉

 

9. Comparing Yourself to Others is a BIG NO.

 

I know this is hard, especially to us, ladies. But sometimes, I realize that this is the most pointless thing ever. Most of the time, we find ourselves stalking and looking at pictures of fit and pretty girls on instagram, facebook, and other social media. This is inevitable, hence this must be an inspiration instead of down or insecure about it.

 

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After all, you are comparing yourself to other people wouldn’t make you feel better. Hey, you are not going to be a model. In fact, you are going to gain weight. There will always be someone who’s smarter, better looking, richer, and hotter, sexier, etc than you. If you’re comparing yourself to all of them, it won’t really get you anywhere and will just drive you crazy. You look great as you are now, and you are never going to look as good.

 

10. Travel is a GOOD the investment.

 

The older you get, the more you will be open to more exploring. You’ll see more places that you will be adding to your bucket list and realize how experiences are more important than material things. Memories of experiences stay with you forever, but stuffs? I don’t think so.

 

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Travel is an incredible investment because it opens your mind to more experiences, gain more knowledge and memories and you get to meet people who are different from you.

 

11. Be Satisfied. Be Contented.

 

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You may lust after an eye catching dress, cute bag, or a pair of branded shoes, but honestly, if your happiness depends on material things, you’ll never be happy. You’ll always be on the hunt for something better. Be happy and contented with what you have. Things can break and become outdated, but memories and experiences are worth cherishing forever.

 

12. DO. NOT. EXPECT. IT HURTS.

 

Just like what I’ve said earlier, BE CONTENTED.
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If you don’t wanna get your heart broken, and avoid disappointments, do NOT expect at all. Just go with the flow. I always say this to my friends “just go with the flow, but always take your BRAIN with you”. Its better to hope for the best but expect the worst. You’ll be surprised in the outcome! 🙂
 
13. You’ll Love a lot and Start Looking for “Real Love”.

 

You seek for serious relationships, not just any ordinary high school puppy love. You wont fall in love easy like when you’re younger. You will look for the right person that you want to be with forever. (BUT! It’s better to NOT look for love, it will just fall in the right time, right place, with the right person)
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You don’t need to have high standards because each one of us has its own flaws and imperfections. No one is perfect. You look for that someone who will accept you for who you are. All your relationships will take work. The longer and deeper your relationship, the more conflicts you will have. Dealing with those conflicts will help you learn how to compromise and will let you learn more about your partner. It takes a lot of effort and work for two different people to come together.

 

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I’m no Love Guru – but I know that Love is a two-way street. It’s always “GIVE and TAKE”. You may drop everything for that special someone, but if he/she doesn’t do the same, maybe it’s time to value yourself more and just move on. Loving someone should be unconditional, but it should also have respect, consideration, trust, and caring. Find people who are willing to put in the same amount of time and effort you are, someone who would do anything for you and those are the ones you need to hold close to your heart.

 

14. Sometimes, Love is really NOT enough.

 

As much as we hate to admit it, love doesn’t always turn out like a fairytale or end of a Disney film. You can love someone with all your heart and soul but in the end, you will just get your heart broken, life might takes you in different directions (which it often will), then sacrifices will be made.
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Heartbreak is necessary. (I know I know.. I sound insane) but it’s true. When you first get your heart broken, it tends to feel like your entire world is crashing down, it feels like you can’t survive without that person, feels like you would rather sleep all they than doing productive things. But, all those feelings will eventually go away. In the end, every heartbreak forces you to take a step back and re-evaluate your happiness. It forces you to stand on your own two feet and face life head on. It gives you time to learn who you truly are as a person. It forces you to learn how to make yourself happy, how to fulfill your own needs, how to survive on your own.

15. Always, Love Yourself FIRST. 

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This is the most important thing that heartbreak teaches you. You need to love yourself first. You cannot have a healthy and happy relationship until you learn how to love yourself. People say, “You have to love yourself first before loving someone else”, at first, I thought this saying doesn’t really matter at all but it made me realize how unhappy I was with myself before and how that affected my relationship. Always know your worth. How will men respect you if you don’t show them your worth? You will really feel true happiness once you feel confident and contented with yourself.
16. Learn how to say “NO”.

STOP BEING SO NICE TO PEOPLE WHO DOESNT DESERVE IT. Say no to boys (or girls) who don’t respect you, say no to friends who are taking advantage of you, say no to people who don’t deserve a yes. If there is anything I’ve learned about myself, it’s that while growing up, I have never been good at saying “no”. I always end up saying “yes” to people even when they don’t deserve it. I’ve constantly found myself being upset over someone using me, disrespecting me or taking advantage of me. Little did I know, I was allowing them to do so. I wasn’t standing up for myself. I wasn’t saying no. I used to be afraid and shy to say no.

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Temptations are everywhere, there will always be peer pressure and if someone is trying to convince you to do something you don’t want to, learn to fight for yourself and say no. If someone abuses your generosity, character, kindness- they don’t care about you. If someone can manipulate your emotions, thoughts, actions- they don’t respect you. You have to realize that saying no doesn’t make you a bad person. It makes you a strong person, a smart person, a happy person.

17. Forgive and Forget.

It’s always better this way, right? Who hasn’t at some point advised a friend or loved one to just “forgive and forget”? And yet when it’s our turn to be the forgiver, it can be a different story. Why is it that forgiveness is so much easier said then done? Our past experiences of being hurt are often the reason why it is so hard to forgive and forget. Sometimes, if we try too hard to forget what happened we might find ourselves just repeating a similar painful scenario down the line.

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Always forgive people and when you hurt them, ask for forgiveness. Be who you are, once you learn to forgive and forget, you’ll see how life starts getting happier and easier than before.

18. Live in the Moment. 

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QUIT blaming your past, they are NOT the reason why you feel miserable today. It’s not them, its YOU. Don’t let your past weigh you down, and instead turn it into something motivational. Once you let go of the blame, you’ll find it very empowering that you, and only you, hold your future in your hands.

19. Accept People For Who They Are.

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You can’t change a person no matter how hard you try. I believed in the saying “treat others the way you want to be treated”. But the reality is that not everyone is going to treat you the way you treat them. Not everyone is going to love you as much as you love them. Not everyone is going to respect you the way you respect them. Not everyone is going to have as big of a heart as you do. Learn that, accept that, and stop trying to change people. You are only setting yourself up for disappointment. Once you learn to see people for their true colors, you learn how to determine who deserves a spot in your life. You learn who is worth your time and who is simply not.

20. Growing Up is Really Not Easy.

How I wish I can stay young forever. Growing up means more responsibilities, more failures and challenges o face. Life doesn’t get easier as we grow older. While it may be exiting and new to venture out on your own, it doesn’t come without its challenges.

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The truth is your life is just starting as you reach 20, and you are staring to figure out the best ways to get through it. You will feel like a roller coaster – you will laugh, cry, fall in love, be happy and get disappointed. But that’s all part of the fun!

Your 20s will make you stronger and wiser. Just enjoy the ride! Before you know it, you’ll be hitting the 30 milestone, and you’ll come to realize that you did learn something during the of transitioning from young adult to adulthood. 🙂

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