Girl, What’s Holding you Back?

“If you’re happy, then what’s holding you back?”

Some people asked me that question and it stuck with me for quite a while now. 

As a lady in her early 20’s, I surely have plenty of dreams, goals, plans, etc. The issue here is that I always let something hold me back from achieving my goals, doing the things that will make me happy. I do know something is holding me back, I just don’t pay attention to what exactly holds me back.

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It is important to identify the reasons of what things are holding you back. Because that’s the only time you can move forward. If you’re not aware of what’s stopping you, how can you work towards changing it? How can you fight something you don’t even know what it is?

So as time goes by, I keep on asking myself these questions….

“What’s really holding you back? What are the things that hold you back from doing something you truly want? Is it fear of not being good enough? Failure? Commitment? Or fear of criticisms and judgement from the people around you?”

Notice how all these questions include the word “fear”..

For me, FEAR is an emotion that we have win ourselves since the day we were born especially when we sense danger or insecurity in our surrounding. It’s something that holds us back and stops us. That happens because we tend to make decisions based out of our fears and not love. From an overthinker person like me, trust me, I know how hard it can be to ignore our fears in the back of our mind.


Are you scared of what society might think of you? Those thoughts hold us back from expressing ourselves and taking risks that give us the chance to grow, meet new people and to be happy. We often fear to be different from the crowd, because that would mean we are unique and won’t fit into the group.

But I do realize that fear also lies, though. It stops you from doing what you want and makes you crazy believe in all these lies that you can’t do something or anything because you’re scared of facing your fears.

Stop thinking about the things that are not existing and things that could go wrong, start focusing on positivity around you. You are never going to be 100% ready to do something and the right time might never come if you always overthink things. Many of us find that we have a timeline mapped out in our heads with how our lives will play out. Being successful at the age of 25, married by 27, kids by 28, etc. But no one really knows if we really can accomplish everything we planned ahead. The moments in between each success of our lives are full of “life lessons” that open the door up for the next big accomplishment we have to face.


Try to go out of your comfort zone. It’s scary. Yup, I know, I’ve been there. Nobody wants to feel the pain of being rejected or feel neglected, but we need to let go of our fears. Just like in relationships, whether someone may have hurt you before or you’re just really scared to commit and getting hurt, if we are ever going to find love, it’s part of the deal. Try not to be afraid of commitment. Fear of commitment is one of the main reason why people aren’t finding love. You have to be willing to open your eyes and heart to the possibility that love can actually work out the way you wanted it to be, and great relationships STILL do exist, you can still feel that amazing connection with someone. Yes, it can be scary, we may get hurt again. But who knows, we also may find love and wouldn’t that be worth it?


Wouldn’t be it a lot easier if we simply give up on our fear and just be happy? Why don’t we try to make decisions based on what we love and hope and not thinking of other people’s judgements?

I think you will always and be a lot happier and feel satisfied once you let your fears go, accepting that you can’t control what other people think of you, and spending your time on people who make your world lighter, not heavier.

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Ofcourse at this age, I don’t claim to know everything or have my life all figured out yet – trust me, my life is really quite the mess yet I’m trying. Aren’t we all in the same boat? I’m still struggling to find my way through it and I know there is someone out there that might feel exactly the same way.


Just give yourself a break and let go of all of the things that holds you back, let go of those struggle and setbacks. Set your heart free from the chaos, sadness, and from people who are not worth it. Just be yourself, do what your heart tells you to do,  not what society wants from you. Do what makes you happy and makes your smile sparkle and always trust that everything will be okay in God’s perfect timing.


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